Oil on canvas
200 – 120 cm
The first painting from the series Mortality is entitled Fucking cancer.
The reason for making this series is because my father has oesophageal cancer with metastasis to his lungs and the prospect is not good. Made for the emotional pain I’m experiencing, because I don’t want to lose my father. It feels as if I’m on this huge rollercoaster that takes me through all the feelings a person can possibly feel. The pain in my stomach is there because I’m watching a loved one deteriorate so much. The powerlessness I see in him. He faces death and how do I, does he, my brother, my partner and all other people close to him handle this?
This painting contains my sorrow and my anger. By using symbols, I’m telling my story. Butterflies represent the brevity of life. The flowers and plants below are the primrose, thistle and a dead branch that symbol hope, defence and decline. The flower tattoos on the arm and hand of the boy represent hope. He is standing in a red-orange sea of colour that represents the hell he’s going through. The words ‘Fuck you!’ on his hand say it all. The tumour is clearly visible and the mouth is laced shut: you have no more say in this. The background is blue, which once again represents hope. The hope that will always remain…